“And everybody wants to be special here
They call your name out loud and clear
Here comes a regular, call out your name
Here comes a regular, am I the only one here today”
– “Here Comes a Regular”
The Replacements

At times I hear a song and feel as though it speaks to my soul. It’s not simply the lyrics; it’s not necessarily the music. Something about that song resonates within me. I could play it repeatedly and get the same feeling each time — that something indescribable about it matters.
I often wish more songs made me feel that way, but in a way I am grateful that so few do. Otherwise, that feeling would deaden, and it would be yet another emotion that I take for granted.
I half joked today that I am heading towards apathy. The sad part is, it is only, as I said, half of a joke. The more significant part is probably true.
Sometimes it is better not to feel, not to think. Not to try to understand, not to be understanding. It is better to be the person who thinks that little really matters, rather than to be the person whom everything matters to. It has to be easier.
I’m tired of feeling; thinking and emoting have become played out. I find myself being taken in by apathy.
I hear “Here Comes a Regular” and something feels different. It’s not that everything that I’m trying to compartmentalize and neatly pack away is resurfacing…it’s just that something matters, and for once, I don’t question why.

Advertisements