“You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young”
– “When You Were Young”
The Killers

I had forgotten what it was like – to meet someone that really wants to know me, the me that I don’t usually show the world. We’re all made of these complex facades – different faces for different people and different situations.
I’ve always been good at being “one of the guys” – after all, most of my interests are more male than female oriented (minus my obsession with clothes shopping…) I’ve always been able to fold myself into “guy conversations” – about girls and sex, among other things – without blinking. Then it got to the point in which I thought these were the only conversations I could have with guys. I knew that where I could have these conversations with some degree of comfort, something was missing.
I was starting to believe that the world had changed, that the guy and the relationship I had once imagined no longer existed. For some reason, it always seems that when we are ready to give up, a person appears in our lives to fufill a purpose.
My mindset has changed…within days. Perhaps I am being foolishly optimistic – doing what everyone is telling me not to do – getting my hopes up that this could be something real.
I just feel happy…the kind of happy where I am walking around with a smile on my face and the little things have barely troubled me. He is exactly how I imagined a guy should be…he’s showing me that what I began to think didn’t exist, does. And wow, it’s amazing.

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