Older businessmen are complete tools. I believe in the accuracy of this statement, because I encounter them throughout the day. I should have said that not all are this way (I work with plenty of decent, friendly, respectable older men), but the overwhelming majority of them simply bother me.

I find it funny when they are on their cellphones, speaking so loudly that everyone could hear them. Most of the time I don’t think there is even another person on the other line – they just like to look “important” as they discuss “business”. It’s even worse when they yell at someone on the other end “Mary! Why didn’t that Fed Ex make it on time? What is the Seattle office going to do?”

Like I care, when you’re holding up the line in Starbucks.

I spend three hours on the train each day. In the morning I usually sleep, so that doesn’t count. In the evening, however, I usually listen to my ipod to tune people out and read a magazine or book. I forgot to charge my ipod last night, and had no option but to inadvertently listen to my fellow commuters.

On my second train this evening, I sat behind two older businessmen. They were flipping through a golf magazine and engaging in a spirited conversation about their hot, young assistants.

Businesstool #1 – “You should see my new assistant. She’s right out of college, so hot. You should see the way she looks at me.”

Businesstool #2 – (smiles smarmy at his tool of a friend, chuckles) “I have two assistants. I’d bring them home and show them a good time next time my wife’s away!”

I was so grossed out by this exchange. They are so completely delusional to think that their assistants want them. And that is why businessmen (the older ones, especially) are total tools.

I need to be next to the person Jayme was near last week on the train when she texted me “Only on the train – this guy is making sexy talk w his woman and asking her to wear something w easy access and no damn jeans”. Those are the people who entertain us when we commute.