I gravitate to certain types of music depending on the mood I am in. My state of mind seems to dictate what gets played on my IPod while I am walking to work, trying to tune out the world around me. When I am happy and life feels full of joy and promise, I tend to enjoy upbeat music – cheesy top 40, 80’s music, bad pop. On the other hand, when I’m feeling down, my playlists can’t include enough Damien Rice, Chris Isaak, and Elliott Smith.

Last night, while looking through ITunes for some new music, I stumbled upon the Joshua Radin song “The Fear You Won’t Fall” and everything fell into place. I downloaded the entire album – it’s beautiful. The downside is that after listening to all thirteen songs this morning on my way to work, I was in no mood to start my day on a bright note.

I am pure melancholy.

This is an album, much like “Forever Blue” by Chris Isaak that is written for the other half of a failed relationship, the person who left and took your heart with him (or her). Every song has the same message, little hope, and even less happiness.

The lyrics are beautiful, though.

I desperately need to snap out of the funk I’m in lately. There is much to look forward to in the near future, and I need to focus on that, rather than the negativity that is muddying my thoughts and overtaking my mindset.

No more Joshua Radin for today.

“Digging a hole and the walls are caving in
Behind me air’s getting thin but I’m trying I’m breathing in
Come find me
It hasn’t felt like this before
It hasn’t felt like home before you
And I know it’s easy to say but it’s harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought
I could
Can’t get my mind off of you
I know you’re scared that
I’ll soon be over it
That’s part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won’t fall
It hasn’t felt like this before
It hasn’t felt like home before you
And I know it’s easy to say but it’s harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should than I thought I could
Can’t get my mind off of you
And I hate the phone
But I wish you’d cal
lThought being alone
Was better than was better than
And I know it’s easy to say but it’s harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can’t get my mind off of you”
– “The Fear You Won’t Fall”
Joshua Radin

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