• People who don’t wait in line for the escalator in the subway station and blatantly “merge” in front of you
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  • People who speak loudly on their cell phones – especially in the gym and on the subway

 

  • These ads. How creepy is this guy?!

  • Commercials for The General auto insurance – especially the one where the woman whines “And bring me cheese puffs!”

 

  • People who begin phone calls with, “You’re probably not the right person to talk to … but …” Then why did you choose me?

 

  • “Soldier of Love” by Sade – “I’ve lost the use of my heart but I’m still alive”

 

  • The guy outside of BOOM Fitness, a gym by my office. If you see me walking by you in gym clothes, no, I probably don’t want a membership to your gym. And yelling “Try BOOM Fitness for $19 a month!” every time I walk by doesn’t help, either.

 

  • The “Do you have a moment for (fill in the blank – animal rights, gay rights, etc.)?” people on the sidewalk who hijack you during lunch. Yes, I do. But not for you.

 

  • People who “red flag” every e-mail they send on Outlook. Ever hear of the boy who cried wolf? I sincerely doubt every one of your communications is URGENT.

 

  • People who type e-mails in Comic Sans

 

  • People who do not know the difference between your/you’re, affect effect, there/they’re/their. Especially those who are older than seven years old.

 

  • People who chew gum audibly.

 

  • People who play their music so loud on their headphones, that you wonder why they even bother. Next time, bring your speakers on the subway. Thanks.

 

  • People who order complicated drinks in Starbucks – “Yes, I’d like a venti, extra hot, no foam, soy, sugar-free vanilla latte.”

 

  • Married people who have one Facebook account, called something like “Maryand Jim Jones”

 

  • People who post Facebook updates with graphic details involving their child’s toilet training or their pregnancy. I am all for kids and babies. I even think those photos of your stomach are kind of cute. But no, I don’t want to know that you’re dilated.

 

To be continued … happy Friday!

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